The tale of a fallen Noir

Happy Star Wars day

Mon, 04 May 2009 13:38:38 GMT

In credit to the special day today, a video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln3tcSoN3gc

Who watches the Watchmen?

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:36:27 GMT

Well now, yesterday I skulked into a showing of Watchmen since I had a day off. I'm still picking my jaw off the floor.

For a book branded "unfilmable" Zack Snyder (who made 300) has made a stellar job of it, the cast is almost dead on consistantly, the special effects are all top notch and the content hasn't been diluted in any way shape or form. This film has been given an 18 certificate and it shows with full frontal nudity (male and female, mostly male though), sex, violence and gore all present and correct from the original book. In fact 90+% of the book has made it onscreen which is just amazing, among the content not on screen is some of Rorsachs past (in particular how he come upon the material for his mask), the Black Freighter and some of the Doc Manhattan background in the same detail, even coming up with that short "list" was bloody hard, theres so much on screen. The script even quotes the book word for word in places, take the opening for example, an insight from Rorsach, "The politions and whores will look up and shout, save us! And I'll whisper back, no!" word for word lifted from the original.

Speaking of the script, its as tight as hell, and prior knowledge of the book isn't needed I'd say with it being a fully self contained world in comparison to say any Marvel movie coming out beyond now where it helps to know how the crossovers work this is beautifully crafted, with enough explanation in there to satisfy people both in and out of the know.

The cast is played out beautifully, with every character being almost the exact same way they're portrayed in the book: Rorsach is a nutcase sociopath, Veidt is powerful, Nite Owl 2 starts out being awkward but warms to the idea of going out and stuff, Silk Spectre 2 is feisty and just wants to be normal at the same time as enjoying the masked superhero stuff, Doc Manhattan is disconnected from the world, a true genius working on what some sci-fi would call "super science" the Comedian is a plain cunt whichever way you look at it. All played out nicely, remorse is shown where remorse is needed, power trips are given proper focus and true insanity is shown onscreen in all the right ways. In particular Rorsach stands out above them all, his rasping voice (with mask on or off) reveals how twisted and demented someone can be to become an unrelenting vigilante.

The plot is pretty thick, and with alot of backstory needed to set up some people or situations it means the main plot of the film with the potential "mask killer" is put to one side for the first half or so of the film but it doesn't seem to even bog down the pace and once the main plot gains pace it hurtles along to the monster climax. It certainly doesn't feel like 2 and a half hours unlike the Dark Knight which did in the end with its "false endings".

If you've read the book and liked it see this film, you won't leave disappointed, its well made and has an attention to detail that surpasses other adaptations easily, if you like comic book movies with substance, see this film, as a moral exploration of the actions and thoughts of masked vigilantes its more powerful then Dark Knight or anything Spiderman could do, if you like a good action splatterfest, you may be disappointed by the infrequency of the ultra violence, if your not a fan of sytlised action, again this might not be your thing with the obvious inclusion of a giant naked glowing blue man.

Overall I loved this film, having read the book and knowing where all the twists and turns would come didn't spoil a thing and the finish is superb, the devil really is in the details here.

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 02:40:43 GMT

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/45417.html

The video behind that link is just too damned cool to miss.

In order to publicise Dawn of War 2 someone built a Rhino. Full size. And to prove it works drove it round a field squashing old cars and generally looking cool.

Where can I pick the keys up?

Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:30:42 GMT

For those looking forward to the new Star Trek movie, I have made a discovery. A truely COMEDY Star Trek movie, in the shape of the time travelling Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home.

Following on from the events of Star Trek 3: The Search For Spock, a truely amazing film, the crew return from Vulcan to be court marshalled for their actions only to find an alien probe is blasting all technology on Earth with a strong signal. They manage to find out the signals aren't for human ears and instead are for whales (makes sense right?). So Kirk and crew take off and sling shot round the Sun at over warp 9.5 and eventually wind up landing in San Fransisco in the 1980s (handy). Here they begin to clumsily get some money and find all the bits and bobs needed to complete their mission, including photons to repair the dilithium crystals, the whales in question, and a tank capable of storing 2 humpback whales. All standard stuff you can get just lying around in a normal city in the 80s right?

Some of the problems encountered could so easily have been avoided, such as sending Chekov into the US Naval base to collect the photons from the nuclear reactor of the then current USS Enterprise. Lets review this plan. A man with a heavy russian accent, lurking around a US naval ship, during the cold war. Yeup, makes sense to me *head desk*. You'd think with being able to figure out who or what the signals were originally for and travelling through time to deliver them they'd think of doing some basic research into the time period to avoid such things.

This film is such a let down considering what came before it in the brilliantly crafted Wrath of Khan and Search For Spock. I was looking forward to it after heavily enjoying the previous 2 films deep twisting and joined plotlines. It should be noted that I'm watching these in order so dont know what 5 and 6 hold in terms of plot or content yet (though I do have some memory of Generations) this is the first film in the series that I've seen to be pretty much devoid of the Enterprise that Star Trek is known for. Maybe the abscence of that is what causes the comedy effect seen here. Iunno, maybe its the time travel element used that brings that in. Shall watch the next one when it arrives and keep myself going until May for the new one.

"Beam me up Scotty"

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 02:22:42 GMT

Well, its been a good while since I posted in here. General updates, I'm still in uni, still in a flat under a load of elephants (noisy sons of bitches) and I am in fact not single. *waits for everyone reading to get off the floor from the shock of that last bit*

Anyways, those are the rough updates about things. The band may still be on the cards (I have a myspace set up for it at myspace.com/b4k4band and am meeting someone about singing for it in the next week or so, if that doesnt take then I've found an event which may help me find like minded people for it. And I've started to properly piss about with my little Korg on the DS. So some progress on all fronts.

If that didn't take off (and it wasn't going to until this person texted me about singing) then I was looking into starting Inquisitor, a large scale narrative based role playing game from Games Workshop. The main problem of which is availability of players and bits, all the models have to be mail ordered which is fine by itself, but the sheer fact that players are hard to locate is a massive problem with a game like this. If GW wanted to go down the route of a 40K based MMORPG then Inquisitor is the way to do it (hell I might even sign up if they did) and the store itself doesn't run any sort of night for it. The closest I found was the ELG, Edinburgh League of Gamers. These people are the ones who scare me slightly, the ones who can take things just that bit too far for my liking. Granted these games are all about escapism and there are those who enjoy casting aside everything about themselves and becoming someone or something else, a wizard a warrior a knight a ninja. But I personally found the likes of 40K to be my limit, like a variation of chess, stratagy and luck combining to create your plan and having to be flexible enough to cover possibilities arising from the roll of a dice. Costs inhibit me from building a full size army (and time and storage to be totally honest) so going for a game like Inquisitor means fewer models, 3/4 max in a party and more detail into each model. I would still like to build my "character" or 2 at some point, even just for show.

Anyhoo, I suppose I should continue to focus forward on things that are moving. I have some money (though not alot) and the only real debt I need to deal with is uni fees (£300 a month is clearing them up) and SAAS are obliged to help out a little. Work is work and as such is busy as hell this year, so far we haven't had a week where we haven't smashed the targets for people through the door, HO say we should have 18,000, we do 25,000+. Its now normal to get close to if not more than 6,000 on a Friday or Saturday, particularly Saturdays. Since we have 3D screens that makes things more chaotic. 2 3D screens means more mess really, and plans for 2 more (including the biggest one). In April Monsters Vs Aliens, May sees Coraline and in July Ice Age 3 comes along. Oh, and this little film called Watchmen comes out in March, seems its based off a comic book. I joke of course about the last bit, I am so freaking excited about Watchmen that I can't wait to see it, hell I might even just buy a bloody ticket for it to make sure I see it.

Waltz with Bashir, dark as the blackest pits in Hell

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 16:54:56 GMT

So, last night I went in to see one of the most striking impressive and dark movies of the year if not all time. Waltz with Bashir.

What brought me into the film was the visuals. The style of animation reminded me of Scanner Darkly at first but not long into it that dropped with the film having its own unique style. What I left with was the content of the film. Truely disturbing.

The film is a first being a fully animated documentary, the topic matter is the 1982 conflict between the Isralis and the Palestines with one event in particular. The writer director and producer of the film is approached by a friend whos been having a dream about what he did in this conflict, this spurs on the main researchers will to rebuild his own lost memories of the event and what part he played. He finds other people involved and gets their stories from them, using them to help piece together the full story. What we see of the time period is the animated versions of the stories that come from those interviewed. This works amazingly well. When someone says "I drove a tank" we see a younger version of that person driving a tank, simple concept overall.

Those inverviewed include others who served in the armed forces at the time and an ex war correspondant. They all give full and frank accounts of what they saw and heard and when the full story is told in its horrific level of detail it really shows. To help remind us that the events shown are all real archive footage is added at the end.

By all means this film isn't easy viewing, essentially documenting a massacre during war time. Having said that this film is more than well worth a watch at least once (though you'll probably not want to watch it more than once) and if it doesn't manage to get some form of award for its style or the strength and depth of its story. Being subtitled and not in English some people will avoid it which is a shame really.

The certification is well justified, being an 18 it contains an animated porn scene lots of shooting death gore and then theres the archive shots at the end.

My only recommendation is to see the film and understand what it's all about.

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:05:16 GMT

With the impending release of Max Payne the movie tomorrow I thought I'd gather some thoughts about video game movies.

Since the Super Mario Bros film way back video game to movie conversions have been tainted with a certain degree of rotteness, apparently being made for a quick buck out of fans. This trend has continued unfortunately for many years and to the worst point doesn't look to be stopping soon. Thankfully there are a few diamonds in there so to speak. So first off, the good and what I feel makes them good.

The good.

A good film is one that takes the viewer someplace, be it a good place or a bad place as a piece it takes us to new areas and experiances that we haven't seen before. A good game will be fun (you enjoy playing it), a story is optional depending on the genre of the game, in a fighting game they aren't as needed as much as in a survival horror for example. I personally thought that DOA was a good conversion (once you took away the plot in it), it captured the feel of the games, the point of 2 opponents just meeting up and fighting. With the line up including "attractive" women and muscle-bound men. It was a sit down, take your brain out, and veg out in front of the screen, once it finished put your brain back in and away your go. In the same respect Silent Hill managed to catch some of the attraction of the games as well. The Silent Hill shown in the film was foggy, filled with weird stuff (which somehow managed to link in to the story of the lost child), culminating in a fantasy show down between the will of the parent and a strange ghostly demon like thing. The Resident Evil films could concievably have taken place around the same time frame as the first 3 main games, effectively showing another side to the events.

The Bad.

There are of course, the bad ones. Super Mario Bros is a classic example, so bad its funny. The classic enemies weren't right, King Koopa was human, the Goombas were no longer like little evil mushrooms but huge men with a goomba as a missized head. And where the hell did dinosaurs come from in it? The film bombed totally becaused it missed most of the main ingredients, it went too far away from the subject material. Gamers are a fickle bunch, if some hollywood movie mogul comes along and messes with a character already developed over a number of games it won't work.

The down right Ugly.

Video game movies and flops now go hand in hand thanks mostly to one man, Uwe Boll. No one beyond the great Alan Smithee himself has made more crap movies. To spot a Uwe Boll movie, notice the lack of plot compared to the original subject matter, the only things that link the 2 media are the names. Take Bloodrayne for example, the first game was about a kick-ass female vampire who kicks Nazis asses in aid of revenge and the American cause. The first film is set in medievil times (WTF!?), he managed to murder Ben Kingsley and Michael Madsons acting in one fell swoop, and the "special effects" are laughable at points. His version of Alone in the Dark, bore little to no resemblance to the plot or feel of the games it was based on. 1) most of it wasn't in the dark, and 2) since when did being backed up by a whole SWAT team = "alone".

Max Payne could potentially be the start of a new trend, the trend where movie makers create films in line with and with respect for the original subject material, referencing it properly and catching the feel of the original. Needless to say I will be watching it for the story and the atmosphere.

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:55:07 GMT

Since its Halloween I thought I'd write up a little bit about some films around. In particular horrors.

Its built within human nature to be affraid of something, and some of us enjoy this feeling, for as long as there has been stories to be told there has been horror and scarey stories. From way back when it was myths and legends to modren days when the main thrust of this story telling is split between books films and interactive games. Some media invoke a bigger response than others, and it all depends on how well things are executed, this blurb will focus on movies. A major complaint I personally have is the current trend of "horror" movies being well... not scarey in the slightest. A horror movie should scare the audience, and with most common tool used to make audiences feel affraid being the concept of "lets throw as much blood and guts about the screen as we can and see what happens". Alot of the time its not whats seen on screen thats frightening, a sound (or sometimes even lack of sound) can frighten folk more than revealing all. A perfct example of this sort of scare tactics was the much understated "The Mist". Early on someone braves going outside the store with a line on only to be completely obscured a number of feet away. Cue a horrible scream and roar followed by the people in the store frantically pulling the line back in to show only the legs attached to the line. An audience member sits there thinking "What could have caused such a horrible scream and rip someone in half like that?" (this isn't a spoiler, its pretty early in). Films such as Hostel are essentially gore and if you aren't squeemish these films don't really hold anything.

This is mostly (but not exclusively)a Western approach, looking to the East the influences are obviously more spiritually based, classics such as Ring and Grudge have had American remakes but so far nothing has touched the originals sense of sheer fear and shock. I believe this is partly to do with the casting of in the remakes, Mirrors for example had Kieffer "Jack Bauer" Sutherland in the lead role, and managed to destroy any tension in it for me with the now association of Sutherland and his typecast 24 character. The film overall would have retained more of a tense unknowing feeling and genuine horror if the main lead wasn't known for being an all round general badass.

Of course there is the "modern" approach to making a horror. First brought into the major limelight the handheld camera "ultra low quality shakeycam2 in The Blair Witch Project, but in my opinion has been best used in "REC", a Spanish zombie movie filmed a-la real life event news crew and its now apparent shot for shot American remake "Quarantine". I watched REC when it came out and even I was brown pants scared towards the end, the atmosphere is amazing overall. If you like being scared go watch either version.

I suppose I can really leave this blurb without having a go with the new Bond title (I mean, it does come out today). The main thing I have to say about this is its another example of how not to believe the hype, those expecting another Casino Royale should drop those thoughts before going in, where Casino was 2 and half hours long Quantum is a mere hour and forty minutes, and although it isn't by far a bad film, it doesn't quite feel like the hype deserved it. It almost feels like its all the action shots in the trailer strung together with dialogue character development and a few cheeky references to past films. The villain is very nicely done, a truely modern villian to match a more modern Bond. The plot is pretty heavy on the politics though and part of me wonders just how many under 12s there are who will see it with parents and not fully understand whats going on.
In conclusion by all means if your a Bond fan see the film, but just don't prepare your ass for a numbing experiance and go in with mind to this being an element of the new Bonds character re-building and as a continuation of Casinos love and lose intrest storyline.

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 10:52:03 GMT

Those with dirty minds probably shouldn't watch this vid, but it's so damn funny with a dirty mind.

This video was brought to you by the word: ****

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 14:16:09 GMT

OK, you have full permission to call me a sad geek here but this is cool. No arguments :P

A fully working LEGO technic 32valve V8 engine! I want that to play with.

How about a 1967 Ford Mustang to put it in?

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:13:54 GMT

Question, why is it in comic books and films etc no one buys the old condemned factory/fairground for developement and instead it sits there for the villians to use a base of operations? Also why is the power to these places not cut off?

Prime example: Saw.

Answers to the usual address :P

I want(ed) to believe

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 01:46:19 GMT

that this film was going to be good, that it was going to bring in a new era for this well loved cult TV show. Unfortunately it wasn't and it probably won't.

The X Files: I Want to Believe is a new direction for the shows writers basing this (mis)adventure in more "real life" scenarios. Going out are aliens, anything to do with the governments various cover ups, the smoking man, and the lone gunmen. Think abductions without the aliens and your on the right track.

The concept itself is sound, beyond sound really. An FBI agent goes missing and a "psychic" (Billy Connolly) holds the potential key to find them before its too late. Call in Mulder (via Scully) to scrutinize the Big 'yins abilities. Set in modern day Scully has become a full time doctor/surgeon in a hospital run by the Catholic church and Mulder is in hiding (and sporting a rather large beard).

Mulder and Scully play there usual unsure selves, constantly swapping beliefs about many things, Billys' "talents", the FBI team, and each other. At times the acting from some of the cast looks like they couldn't be arsed coming in, got a cardboard cutout in, moved it about a bit and phoned in the dialog from bed.

In short this film is disappointing, if you do see it pay more attention to the concepts of the plot and ignore the rest of it, or see it as a comedy. Although the latter is still probably not a good idea. If your a die hard fan of the show, there's still not a good chance you'll really like this.

As promised

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 01:27:49 GMT

Well oh well, what a film.

The much anticipated film of this summer, and I've seen it :P

The Dark Knight follows on where Batman Begins left off, set a short while after the first film it starts off with a fast paced bank robbery and doesn't slow down until the end credits start rolling, but for all that pace alot of understanding and progress is made with the main players of the story.

Why so serious? - The Joker

Bale shows off Bruce Waynes darker side, his desires, his dreams, and ultimately, what his thoughts are on Gotham itself. The now late Heath Ledger plays Joker as a total psychopath with rough makeup, scars and a rather unnerving tendancy of licking his lips. As a viewer its alot harder not to be afraid of this villain as he is onscreen from the word go. In my opinion Heaths Joker is the best character of the film, opening a portal into the world of an "agent of chaos". Lt Gordon played by Gary Oldman is the moral center-piece, understanding that although Batman is technically a criminal, he's more good than bad so it's better to co-operate and collaborate for the greater good. The real surprise though is Arron Eckhart's Harvey Dent. The newly appointed DA for Gotham has a huge fall from grace that Eckhart shows off extremely well.

You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain - Harvey Dent

Visually the film is more of the same as Begins, the explosions and destruction are top quality and during the action scenes (which seems like most of the film) the "shakey cam" comes into effect. The main visual punch though is something alot smaller but very very effective. Heath Ledgers make up. Being messy, rough and raw makes the character stand out more than if the make up were pristine.

I've seen now what I have to become to stop men like him - Bruce Wayne/Batman

If you enjoyed Batman Begins, you'll love this. It's dark, it's unnerving, and at points you just sit and think "oh shit thats harsh". It does seem a bit on the long side, and I would think twice about taking anyone under 12 in (its rated 12A, but it really doesn't feel like it should). Heres to the next one.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 09:38:50 GMT

Tonight I will watch a film after work, then as soon as I get back here I'll write up a *shock* SERIOUS REVIEW OF IT!

I want to get back into writing stuff about the films coming out and maybe even a few "editorials" about aspects of films I'm starting to think alot deeper into anyways. They won't be rants (thought they probably will have rant like parts in them) they'll be me sitting down and really trying to explain these parts the way I see them.

Think of the whole thing as a "View from the popcorn monkey".

Music meme time

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:36:03 GMT

Rules:
Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike through when someone gets them right ( use "~~text to be struck out~~" to give "text to be struck out")
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!

1. ~~Once Upon a time at the foot of a great mountain~~ "Fire coming out of Monkey" - Gorillaz (feat Dennis Hopper)

2. ~~Look at that turtle go bro~~ "Yurtle the Turtle" - RHCP

3. She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak

4. Another day flows by

5. Punch your card 'cause your working day has started

6. Well I don't know why I was dreaming about you

7. (1,2,3,4 Hoo hoo hoo) She called me late last night, say she loved me so

8. Well I, hear my train a comin'

9. ~~Desperado, why don't you come to your senses~~ "Desperado" - The Eagles

10. ~~I missed you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, when he made Pearl Harbour~~ "Pearl Harbour Sucked, and I miss you" - Team America

11. ~~It's another race from outer space from outer space~~ "Another Race" - Eiffel 65

12. Somebody keep my balance I think I'm falling off

13. The basement scene is dark and dusty

14. The window's dirty, the mattress stinks

15. ~~On a cobweb afternoon in a room full of emptiness~~ "Like a Stone" - Audioslave

16. (Spoken) Let's go ready, from the top ("singing"), My favourite shows on tv are 12 minutes of advertising, I can't get behind that kind of time.

17. Someday my peace will come

18. Mary mary where you been?

19. Its Easier to run, replacing the pain is something worse

20. ~~He's got a smile that it seems to me~~ "Sweet Child O'Mine" - Guns n Roses

I felt the need to cheat a little and skip over some of the songs I hit, the same one over and over, remixes I wasn't even sure had lyrics, songs I knew for a fact didn't have lyrics (Moonlight Serenade) and songs that weren't in English.

Have fun guessing them.

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 01:32:58 GMT

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well let's see.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

I am so disappointed, alot of the books I've read and really loved aren't on the list, where is Philip K Dick in there?

One step forward and two steps back

Tue, 13 May 2008 14:12:01 GMT

That title pretty much describes my life at the moment. I try and take one step forward with something, and I get hit with a moving wall and pushed back beyond where I started (and before anyone thinks I'm making the song up, its a country song).

Time for an example? Sure. I went to a bank to open a new account, this is step one in reclaiming bank charges in case the bank your claiming from decides to close the account (sort of a "heres your money now go away" idea). So I goes into the Clydesdale bank with bank statements to show I've got regular income (natural enough), these statements also have charges shown on them. Because of that the guy literally took one look at them and said "No, we cant open an account for you." So I'm back to the idea that I can't get any help getting out of the crap financially because I'm in the crap financially. Leaving me back where I started only feeling worse for it all.

Example 2, I keep searching through internet dating sites trying to find someone to at least get a conversation with, instead I get ignored, rejected, or if a convo does start it dies on its arse within 5 mins. It's been suggested I go to pubs to try and find folk, but I don't make the right impression in public, shy and nervous does NOT make attractive in anyones book. Neither does being so drunk you can't stand up straight (probably the only time I'm ever going to have the bravery to approach someone). Then we have the problem of seeing who is and isn't available.

Why am I stuck like this going no-where? I can't focus on uni work due to the stress of constantly getting letters along the lines of "pay us now git face" and having the general contents of my stomach wanting to evacuate when I see a couple in public (I do of course refer to those inconsiderate ones who have no idea of appropriate behaviour for a public place) and the feeling of being a freak because I can't get even a conversation from most folk let alone anything else.

All I can say is, life sucks. The end. (Post left public as I'm beyond the point of caring who reads it)

Fri, 09 May 2008 01:03:53 GMT

I have been trying to do the same mission in GTA:SA for over an hour. 1 WHOLE FUCKING HOUR TO DO 1 SINGLE MISSION!!!! It really is bordering impossible. If this carries on I may have a new frisbee!

EDIT:Managed to get past the last mission for the difficult strand in 2 attempts, just infurated at how difficult one of the vehicles is to control. (The last mission in the strand is controlling an RC Helicopter, which is a breeze, the offending mission was an RC plane, which is a bitch and a half to control).

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:11:48 GMT

I'm off. Goodbye.

BAAA :P

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 01:42:51 GMT

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 22:52:56 GMT

I
GIVE
UP

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 23:22:36 GMT

Well, another week of film releases, I know I said I was gonna post on Wednesday but I didn't, and I'm actually in quite a good mood today. So onto this weeks new films.

"Jumper" I mentioned last week, and I went to see it tonight. I have to say, the only main downside to the film was Jamie Bell, he just irks me. Other than that I really enjoyed it, break neck action that manages to cross the globe in a matter of seconds. Highly entertaining.

Onto the other options for the weeks cinema viewing:

"The Bucket List" follows 2 cinema legends, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson as terminal patients who decide to come up with a list of things to do before they pass on. Funny, sad, and contemplative at the same time, this should show why these two are so highly regarded as actors. I want to see this after someone told me one of the lines from Jack Nicholson. See this, you will enjoy.

"All The Boys Love Mandy Lane" and one of them loves her so much hes willing to kill everyone else to get her. A schlock/slasher horror film of the modern age, think endless gore and no real series plot, less "scares" and more "ewww" guts. An 18 rating will ensure enough arseholes get interested (and hopefully bounced). Meh, I probably won't see it, doesn't look deep enough for a plot line to keep me interested.

"There Will Be Blood" follows the oil surge at the turn of the 20th centuary. Nominated for Oscars and Baftas and god knows what else. Looks promising, though I have no idea what its really about, oil and backstabbing as far as I know.

Opening on Wednesday (why can't they all release on Friday nowadays?).

"Be Kind, Rewind" is Jack Blacks new comedy. After becoming magnetised "accidentally" he manages to erase an entire shop of video tapes. In a bid to keep the buisness going they decide to "remake" all the lost films. Don't think of this as a spoof movie cause it isnt, with each new version of whatever lost film they remake being amusing simply because its them doing it and the finished result only takes 20 mins. Well worth a look.

"U23D". If this needs any more introduction then I'm gonna shoot myself. A U2 concert filmed using 9 3D cameras. If you want to go see "Saint" Bono and the rest of them in 3D (as if he isn't a big enough twat in 2D) then in you go. I ain't slagging off the bands music, I sorta like it, its Bono with his "save the starving children" routine, you want to save them Bono? You give up your money and I'll give up mine, how about that? Anyways, could be worth it, might not be, go if your a fan.

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 01:10:29 GMT

A meme, from Ishkara

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Where do you live:
4: What are you studying/What are you working as:
5. What makes you happy:
6. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
7. What is particularly good/bad about my LJ:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. Favorite place to be:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Weirdest food you like:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A song:
4: A band:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your lj so I can tell you what I think of you.

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 01:05:00 GMT

Another week another set of films to "review", I'll keep some of them brief (cause they really are vomit inducing).

"Arctic Tale" is a kids film based on the format of "March Of The Penguins", this time following a polar bear and a walrus. Nuf said.

"Definitely Maybe" is a vomit inducing soppy romcom. I'll leave this one to your imagination.

"Juno" is a comedy following the events after a 16 year old girl gets pregnant due to a one night stand with a boy from her school. She decides to give the baby up for adoption and the search for suitable parents leads them to alot of discoveries. Popping out from nowhere this film has recieved alot of good reviews etc. I might go out to see it, might now.

"National Treasure 2" follows on from the previous film, this time Nick Cage has to clear his familys name from killing Lincon. Among the illegal activitys he needs to complete this time theres the highly illegal act of kidnapping the current president. A fun yarn methinks.

"The Water Horse" is Nessy. Theres no covering it up, its about a boy who finds and befriends a monster in Loch Ness. ITS FUCKING NESSY!!!!! I will be avoiding this one simply because its a kid film and it has a stupid title.

On Thursday theres the opening for "Jumper", this one I want to see so badly. Rough plot line, a kid discovers that he can "jump" aka teleport at will. Unfortuatly the Paladins dont like these "jumpers" and decide they have to hunt them down. Cue obvious action and high speed chases and fight scenes.

Thankfully we at Cineworld Edinburgh are not going to be receiving "Step Up 2: The Streets". As far as anything I have seen with the subtitle "The Streets" or a tagline along the lines of "Its not where your from, its where your at" is going to turn out to be utter shite. Thank you great god of distribution for this help.

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 00:29:40 GMT

Wow, and you thought 4 films in one week was alot, this week has 6!!!!!!

"Cloverfield" has been doing the rounds online rumourwise for a good few months now, with the only detail at the end of the teaser trailer being the release date. Finally the day has come for us Brits to see it. Quoted by some people as "Blair Witch" meets "Godzilla" I think its a rather harsh statment, cause I know Blair Witch was weaker than weak tea and Godzilla to be fair wasnt exactly that good, but this looks really good to me. I can see where the Blair Witch thing comes from, its entirely filmed on a small hand held DV camera (completely with shakeycam and off screen commentary), and the Godzilla bit I can see as well (big stompy monster). The film follows a group of people who were having a party when this big stompy monster hits New York, caught in the middle of all the chaos they film their escape (or attempted escape, I haven't seen it) and explain what they see, why they think its happening etc etc. I wanna see this so damn badly.

"Penelope" on the other hand I want to avoid at all costs (and will succeed). Aimed mostly at pre-pubescent girls, this is a "funny" romantic film from what I can glean from the poster. I'm not gonna go further than that.

"Things We Lost In The Fire" crept up on me and as such I have no freaking clue, I can't even find much about it on imdb. I give up on this one, doesn't look like my kinda thing. Next film.

"Over Her Dead Body" is another romantic comedy thing (what is it about this time of year that means pretty much every film is linked to romance?). In this one a recently deceased woman exacts revenge on her ex through a psychic. Yawn. Next.

"Underdog" is based on the cartoon of the same name (I think, I've never seen the original to be frank). A kids action comedy about a dog who thanks to an accident involving some form of chemicals (its always a bloody accident with these things isnt it?). Anyways, Underdog gets his powers, and decided hes got to use them to save the world from villians. One for the kids I think.

Finally "Before The Devil Know You're Dead". When two brothers organise the robbery of their parents jewellery store things go wrong (as they tend to) and a series of events occur that plunges both them, their father and one of the brothers wives into serious trouble. A bit of a thinker here.

Previews of "Juno" this week as well, but I won't say anything about that for now.